How To Build Self Esteem in Tween Girls: 10 Simple, Powerful Strategies

Because confidence isn’t something girls are born with—it’s something they can learn, practice, and grow.

Let’s be honest: the tween years can be tough. Girls are starting to navigate bigger emotions, body changes, shifting friendships, and a growing awareness of the world around them—all while figuring out who they are. It’s no wonder self esteem can take a hit.

But here’s the empowering truth: self esteem is teachable. And the earlier we begin, the stronger their foundation will be. Tween girls need consistent reminders that their worth isn't defined by likes, grades, or popularity—it comes from within.

Whether you're a parent, coach, educator, or mentor, these 10 simple, practical strategies will help you guide girls to see their value, believe in themselves, and embrace their unique magic.

💡 Key Takeaways

• Tween girls are in a crucial stage for developing confidence and identity

• Positive self esteem supports mental wellness, friendships, and academic resilience

• Consistent, heart-centered strategies help girls internalize their worth

• You don’t need to be perfect—you just need to be present and intentional

1. Model Self Love Out Loud

Tween girls are watching everything—especially how you talk about yourself. Show them what it looks like to speak kindly to yourself, take care of your needs, and celebrate your strengths.

Try saying:
“I’m proud of how I handled that today.”
“I made a mistake, but I still believe in myself.”

2. Praise Effort, Not Just Results

Shift the focus from being the best to showing up bravely. Celebrate hard work, persistence, creativity, and kindness—not just A’s or trophies.

Example:
“I love how you kept trying, even when it was hard.”

3. Encourage Emotional Expression

Let her know all emotions are okay—yes, even the messy ones. Journaling, drawing, or talking with a trusted adult gives her an outlet to feel and heal.

Ask:
“What are you feeling right now, and where do you feel it in your body?”

4. Create a Confidence Ritual

Start a daily or weekly practice that centers her worth—affirmations in the mirror, a journal prompt before bed, or writing one win from the day. These tiny habits build trust in herself.

5. Help Her Set and Reach Small Goals

Nothing boosts self esteem like setting a goal and crushing it. Help her choose goals that are meaningful to her—not just what others expect.

Prompt:
“What’s something you’d love to try or improve this month?”

6. Use “I Am” Affirmations

Introduce a few simple affirmations and repeat them together:

• I am enough.

• I am growing every day.

• I am strong and kind.
  Let her create her own, too—it’s even more powerful that way.

7. Celebrate Her Uniqueness

Point out the beautiful things that make her her—her laugh, her ideas, her passion for animals or art. Help her see that she doesn’t have to blend in to belong.

Say:
“The way you think is so creative. That’s a gift.”

8. Strengthen Body Confidence

Talk about what her body can do, not how it looks. Avoid commenting on weight, size, or appearance. Encourage movement that feels good and appreciation for her body’s strength and abilities.

Ask:
“What’s something your body helped you do this week?”

9. Practice Problem Solving Together

Instead of jumping in to fix everything, guide her to brainstorm solutions when she’s upset. This helps her trust herself and feel capable in tough moments.

Try:
“That’s a tricky situation. What do you think your options are?”

10. Surround Her With Empowering Messages

Fill her world with positive influences—books, music, media, mentors, and peers who uplift and inspire. When girls see confidence modeled all around them, it becomes part of their own story, too.

Want a Ready-to-Use Program for Building Tween Confidence?

The Shine From The Inside Workshop Kit is a complete 4-part series designed to help tween and teen girls build self esteem, confidence, and courage through creative activities, journaling, and empowering group discussions. It’s the perfect way to spark deep conversations, celebrate individuality, and help girls own their inner light.

Self esteem isn’t built in a day—but with your support, guidance, and belief in her, it is built moment by moment. Keep showing up. Keep cheering her on. You’re making a difference more than you know.

With Love,
Kate