How to Create a Calm-Down Toolkit for Girls Using Coaching Activities

Give Girls the Tools They Need to Self-Soothe, Reset, and Regain Inner Calm—Anytime, Anywhere

When girls feel overwhelmed, anxious, or emotionally flooded, they often don’t know what to do with all those big feelings—and that’s when shutdowns, outbursts, or spirals can happen. But here’s the good news: emotional regulation is a teachable skill, and with the right tools in hand, girls can learn how to calm their minds and bodies with confidence.

That’s why creating a calm-down toolkit is such a powerful practice. Whether you’re leading a group, working one-on-one, or supporting your daughter at home, this toolkit gives girls choices and agency in how they respond to stress. It’s a tangible, empowering way to help them feel safe and in control—even when emotions feel anything but.

💡 Key Takeaways

• A calm-down toolkit is a personalized, portable set of emotional regulation tools

• It gives girls something to turn to when they’re overwhelmed, anxious, or dysregulated

• Coaching activities help girls build their toolkit with intention, creativity, and self-awareness

• The toolkit becomes a lifelong resource that grows with them

1. Start With a Calm-Down Conversation

Before jumping into activities, open a conversation around emotional regulation:

• What does stress feel like in your body?

• What do you usually do when you feel overwhelmed?

• What helps you feel calm again?
  This builds self-awareness and helps girls start thinking about what tools might work best for them.

2. Create a Coping Strategy Menu

As a group or individually, brainstorm a list of calming strategies—movement, sensory tools, creative outlets, affirmations, breathing, etc. Some ideas to include:

• Take 5 deep breaths

• Drink water or have a snack

• Squeeze a stress ball

• Journal or doodle

• Step outside for fresh air

• Say a calming affirmation
  Print or write the menu on colorful paper and include it in their toolkit.

3. Make DIY Tools Together

Let girls personalize items to include in their kit, like:

• Stress balls (balloons + flour or rice)

• Affirmation cards with positive self-talk

• Mini glitter jars for visual calm

• Breathing beads or a bracelet to practice slow, steady breaths
  This hands-on activity is fun, creative, and deeply grounding.

4. Journal Prompts for Emotional Check-Ins

Include a small notebook or printable journaling pages in the kit with prompts like:

• What am I feeling right now?

• What happened that made me feel this way?

• What do I need in this moment?
  Journaling gives girls a safe outlet to process emotions before they escalate.

5. Add a “Safe Words” or Calming Language Card

Sometimes, girls need help putting words to what they’re feeling. Include a list of calming phrases they can say to themselves or to ask for help:

• “I need a break.”

• “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now.”

• “Can you help me calm down?”
  This encourages communication and self-advocacy.

6. Make It Personal & Portable

Let girls decorate a box, pouch, or container to keep their toolkit items. Encourage them to keep it somewhere accessible—like in a backpack, locker, or bedroom. When they use it regularly, it becomes a trusted go-to, not just an “emergency” tool.

7. Practice Using the Toolkit Together

Once the toolkits are built, walk through real-life scenarios:

• “What would you do if you felt anxious before a test?”

• “What if your friend hurt your feelings and you didn’t know what to say?”
  Practicing in a calm moment builds confidence to use the toolkit in the moment when emotions are high.

Want to lead girls through a complete series that includes calming tools, emotional education, and stress-management strategies? The Managing Stress and Emotions Coaching Kit is a ready-to-use 4-part program filled with empowering activities, journaling prompts, group discussions, and printable resources to help girls build inner calm and confidence.

You’re not just giving girls tools—you’re helping them build emotional independence, one breath, one page, and one calming choice at a time. Let me know how your group personalizes their toolkits—I’d love to hear what works best!

- Kate