How to Help Girls Speak Kindly to Themselves: 5 Coaching Activities That Work

Because the Most Important Voice They’ll Ever Hear Is Their Own

If we could tune in to the inner voice of so many tween and teen girls, we’d likely hear something like: “I’m not good enough.” “Why can’t I be more like her?” “I always mess things up.” That inner critic? It starts young—and it can be relentless.

But here’s the powerful truth: we can teach girls to change the way they speak to themselves. With the right support and a few intentional coaching tools, girls can learn to quiet the harsh self-talk and replace it with words that build them up, not tear them down.

These five activities are simple, engaging, and actually work to help girls develop a kinder, more compassionate relationship with themselves—from the inside out.

💡 Key Takeaways

• How girls talk to themselves directly impacts their confidence, choices, and emotional wellbeing

• Self-kindness is not about being soft—it’s about being strong enough to be gentle with yourself

• Coaching activities that focus on awareness, reflection, and affirmation create lasting shifts

• You don’t have to “fix” girls—just give them tools to support themselves from within

1. “Inner Critic vs. Inner Coach” Dialogue

Have girls draw a line down a page. On the left side, write things their “inner critic” says (like “I’m not good at anything” or “No one likes me”). On the right, write what their “inner coach” would say in response (like “I’m still learning, and that’s okay” or “I am a loyal, kind friend”).

This exercise helps girls recognize their negative self-talk and practice choosing a more supportive voice.

2. Mirror Talk Affirmation Practice

Give girls a small mirror and a simple script to follow: Look into your eyes and say one kind thing to yourself. It could be “I’m proud of you,” “You’re doing your best,” or “You are enough.”

At first, it might feel awkward—but over time, it becomes a powerful ritual of self-respect and grounding.

3. Self-Kindness Journaling Prompts

Use reflective prompts like:

• What’s something I would never say to a friend—but sometimes say to myself?

• How can I show myself more grace this week?

• What’s one thing I love about who I am on the inside?
  This helps girls develop awareness of their inner dialogue and begin shifting it toward self-compassion.

4. “Flip the Script” Game

Write common negative thoughts on slips of paper (e.g. “I always mess up,” “I’m not pretty enough”). In pairs or small groups, girls draw a card and work together to “flip the script” into a kind, truthful alternative. For example, “I always mess up” becomes “I’m still learning, and that’s part of growing.”

This activity helps reframe self-talk in real time—while building peer support and perspective.

5. Affirmation Art Wall

Give each girl a piece of cardstock and invite her to write or decorate an affirmation that speaks to her heart. Then, hang all the cards on a wall or display board to create a collective “Kindness Wall.” Girls can visit the wall anytime they need a reminder of their worth.

Bonus: Let them take their affirmation home or decorate a journal with it!

Ready to guide girls through a powerful shift in how they speak to themselves? The Confidence Coaching Kit is a 4-week series designed to help girls build inner confidence, speak kindly to themselves, and show up as their authentic selves—without pressure, perfectionism, or comparison. It’s filled with ready-to-use activities, journaling prompts, affirmations, and group discussions that create real transformation—without overwhelm.

You have the heart. This kit gives you the tools. And the girls you’re leading? They’re about to discover that their inner voice can be their greatest cheerleader. Let me know which activity resonates most with your group—I’d love to hear how it goes!

- Kate