How to Talk About Self Esteem With Students (Without Making It Awkward)

Because confidence conversations should feel empowering—not uncomfortable.

Talking about self esteem with students can feel tricky. You don’t want to come across as preachy. You don’t want to make anyone feel exposed. And you definitely don’t want to spark more self consciousness or comparison.

Here’s the good news: you can talk about confidence, self worth, and inner strength in ways that feel natural, safe, and supportive—without making it awkward or overwhelming. In fact, how you talk about these things might be just as important as what you say.

Let's break it down into simple strategies and scripts you can start using right away!

💡 Key Takeaways

• Self esteem conversations should feel safe, empowering, and low-pressure

• You don't need a "perfect" script—just openness, empathy, and good questions

• Small, ongoing conversations are more powerful than one-time lectures

• Modeling self compassion is just as important as teaching it

1. Start With Curiosity, Not Correction

Instead of telling girls how they should feel about themselves, ask open questions:

• “What helps you feel confident?”

• “What makes it hard sometimes?”

• “When do you feel most like yourself?”

Curiosity creates connection. Correction creates walls.

2. Normalize Self Esteem Struggles

Say things like:

• “Everyone struggles with confidence sometimes—even adults.”

• “Self esteem isn’t about feeling great all the time. It’s about believing you’re worthy even on hard days.”

This removes shame and helps girls see that they’re not alone.

3. Make It About Skills, Not Traits

Frame self esteem as something that can be learned and practiced, just like math or writing:

• “Confidence is like a muscle—you get stronger by using it.”

• “Self kindness is a skill we can practice every day.”

Girls feel more empowered when they realize confidence isn’t something you either have or don’t—it’s something you build.

4. Use Everyday Moments as Opportunities

Look for natural openings:

• After a tough group project: “What strengths did you use today?”

• Before a big test: “What are some things you’re proud of, no matter what happens?”

• During art or writing: “How does this project show your creativity and heart?”

Confidence talks don’t have to be standalone lessons—they can be woven into everything.

5. Create Safe, Small Sharing Circles

If you want to go deeper, use small groups, journals, or partner conversations.
Prompt:

• “Share one thing you’re proud of.”

• “What’s one strength you’ve noticed in someone else here?”

Girls open up more when they feel safe and supported—not spotlighted.

6. Use Affirmations as a Conversation Starter

Try:

• “Today’s affirmation is: ‘I am enough just as I am.’ What does that mean to you?”

• “If you could write your own affirmation, what would it say?”
  Affirmations are an easy, low-risk way to introduce self esteem themes.

7. Be Honest About Your Own Journey

Share (appropriately) about your own experiences with self esteem:

• “I used to be really hard on myself when I made mistakes. I’m still practicing being kinder to myself—and it’s made a big difference.”

Modeling vulnerability gives girls permission to be real too.

Want a Toolkit That Makes Confidence Conversations Easy?

The Confidence & Self Esteem Coaching Kit includes ready-to-use group discussion prompts, reflection activities, affirmation cards, and conversation starters designed specifically for building confidence and connection in girls. Whether you're teaching, mentoring, or coaching, it gives you everything you need to lead with heart—and help girls own their worth.

Because when we make self esteem part of the everyday conversation, we’re helping girls grow stronger, braver, and more resilient, one talk at a time.

With Love,
Kate