Running a Self Esteem Circle for Tween Girls: What to Do, Say, and Avoid

Because creating a space where girls feel seen, heard, and celebrated changes everything.

Starting a girls group is a beautiful first step—but running a self esteem circle where girls feel safe enough to open up, be real, and grow? That’s where the magic really happens.

Tween girls (ages 9–13) are at such a pivotal moment. They’re navigating friendships, body changes, big emotions, and growing self awareness—all while the world’s expectations start pressing down harder. Your circle can be the place they come to remember who they really are: strong, kind, fearless, and enough.

This post gives you practical, heart-centered tips for leading your circle with confidence—including what to do, what to say, and what to gently avoid.

💡 Key Takeaways

• Self esteem circles thrive on consistency, compassion, and co-creation

• How you lead matters more than having a perfect plan

• Building trust is the foundation of real confidence growth

• Avoiding “fix it” energy and comparison helps girls feel truly safe

What To DO In Your Self Esteem Circle

1. Set Group Agreements Together

In your first session, co-create a simple agreement:

• Listen with respect

• Share with courage

• Celebrate others

• Keep stories confidential
  Girls feel more ownership when they help set the norms.

2. Start with Grounding Rituals

Create a simple opening each time—an affirmation, breathing exercise, gratitude share, or calming moment.
It signals: “This is our safe space to be real.”

3. Lead With Open-Ended Prompts

Instead of questions with right or wrong answers, invite exploration:

• “What’s one thing you love about yourself today?”

• “What does confidence feel like to you?”

• “When do you feel most like your true self?”

Open questions = open hearts.

4. Mix Activities With Reflection

Alternate between creative activities (like vision boards, affirmation cards, or kindness projects) and quieter reflection (journaling, sharing circles).
Girls process confidence best through doing and reflecting.

5. Celebrate Small Bravery Moments

Every time a girl shares, tries something new, or shows kindness—name it. Celebrate it.
Bravery isn’t just speaking in front of a group—it’s showing up authentically.

What To SAY In Your Self Esteem Circle

• “Thank you for sharing. That took a lot of courage.”

• “There’s no wrong answer here—your voice matters.”

• “You don’t have to be perfect to be proud of yourself.”

• “It’s brave to listen with an open heart.”

• “You are enough exactly as you are, right now.”

Kind, affirming language builds trust—and trust builds confidence.

What To AVOID In Your Self Esteem Circle

1. Don’t Force Participation

Invite, don’t insist. Let girls share when they’re ready—and honor the quiet ones, too.
Safe spaces are built through consent, not pressure.

2. Don’t “Fix” or “Correct” Feelings

If a girl says she feels scared, left out, or unsure, validate it.
Say: “Thank you for being honest. It’s okay to feel that way.”
Healing happens when feelings are honored, not brushed aside.

3. Don’t Allow Comparison Culture

If comparison sneaks in (“She’s so much better at that than me…”), gently redirect:

• “We’re all growing at our own pace—and that’s okay.”

• “Let’s celebrate each person’s unique gifts.”

Confidence grows faster when competition isn’t in the room.

Want a Ready-to-Lead Program for Self Esteem Circles?

The 10 Week Girls Group Kit is packed with discussion guides, reflection activities, group rituals, and creative confidence builders—all designed to make running your self esteem circle simple, empowering, and deeply impactful. Whether you’re leading a small group, after-school club, or classroom workshop, this kit gives you everything you need to lead with heart.

Because a strong, safe circle changes everything—and you are the one who makes it possible.

With Love,
Kate