If your once chatty, affectionate daughter has suddenly become quieter, moodier, or more independent, you are not alone. Many parents feel confused or even hurt when their tween begins pulling away. One minute she wants connection and the next she wants space. She used to share everything, and now you are lucky to get more than a few words.

The good news is that this shift is normal. It is a healthy part of her development and identity formation. Even better, pulling away does not mean she no longer wants or needs you. She still does. She just needs you in a new way.

Here is why tweens pull away, what is happening beneath the surface, and how you can stay close and connected through this important transition.

1. She Is Developing Her Own Identity

The tween years are when girls begin to explore:

• who they are
• what they think
• what matters to them
• how they want to show up in the world

As she gains independence, she may naturally seek more privacy and space. This does not mean she is shutting you out. It means she is beginning to see herself as her own person.

How you can support her:
Allow space for her opinions and choices, even when you disagree. Encourage her growing independence while reminding her that you are always here for her.

2. Her Emotions Feel Bigger Than Ever

Tween girls experience major changes in their brain and hormones. This can lead to:

• emotional ups and downs
• frustration
• sensitivity
• overwhelm
• mood changes

Sometimes pulling away is her way of regulating those big feelings. She might need time alone before she feels ready to talk.

How you can support her:
Stay calm, gentle, and available. Let her know her feelings are valid and normal. Offer connection without pressure.

3. Friendships Become More Complex

As friendships shift from simple play to deeper emotional relationships, girls often experience:

• comparison
• exclusion
• drama
• insecurity
• intense loyalty
• sudden changes in friend groups

These experiences can make her feel unsure, embarrassed, or worried about what to share.

How you can support her:
Focus on listening without reacting or judging. Give her tools to navigate friendships with confidence and boundaries.

4. She Is Becoming More Self Conscious

Tweens become highly aware of themselves and the world around them. Even small things can make them feel embarrassed or on edge. She might pull away because she is unsure how to express her feelings or because she fears being misunderstood.

How you can support her:
Normalize self consciousness. Share stories from your own tween years. Let her know she is not alone.

5. She Wants Connection, but on Her Terms

Your daughter still needs closeness, warmth, and reassurance, but she may not want it in the same ways she used to. She might prefer quiet one on one time, shared activities, or relaxed moments instead of long conversations.

She still wants you. She just wants you differently.

How you can support her:
Offer connection through small moments. Invite her to join you without forcing it. Keep your energy open and welcoming.

6. She May Not Have Words for What She Feels

Tweens often experience emotions faster than they can articulate them. This can result in shutting down, withdrawing, or acting distant. Not because she does not trust you, but because she has not learned how to communicate her inner world yet.

How you can support her:
Use guided prompts, reflection pages, and activities that help her express herself. Tools make communication easier and less intimidating.

How to Stay Close Through the Tween Transition

The goal is not to stop the pulling away. The goal is to remain a steady, compassionate, safe presence while she grows into her own identity.

You can stay connected by:

• listening without interrupting
• validating her feelings
• offering space when she needs it
• creating small connection rituals
• inviting conversations, not demanding them
• spending time together in low pressure ways
• using guided tools that create meaningful conversations

Connection happens through presence, not perfection.

This Is Why I Created the Mom and Daughter Connection Kit

Many moms want a deeper, gentler, more meaningful connection with their daughters but are not sure how to reach them during this stage. This kit was created to make that easier.

Inside the kit you will find:

• connection activities
• reflection pages
• mother daughter journal prompts
• creative exercises
• conversation guides
• communication tools
• simple rituals
• a guided bonding audio

These tools help you open conversations, reduce tension, understand each other better, and create shared moments of closeness, even during the pull away phase.

You do not need to force connection. You can create it naturally with the right support.

If you want an easier, heart centered way to stay close to your daughter during the tween years, the Mom and Daughter Connection Kit is the perfect starting point.

You can download it instantly here for just $33!